Asking Before Using Someone's Things
Imagine you come home and find that your little sibling borrowed your favorite colored pencils without asking — and left them all over the floor. You feel annoyed, right? Maybe even a little hurt. Now imagine they had asked first. You probably would have said yes, and maybe you would have felt good about being generous. The pencils are the same. The difference is the asking.
Asking Shows Respect
When something belongs to someone else, they are in charge of it. That means you need their permission before you use it, borrow it, share it, or change it. Asking for permission does a few important things. It shows the owner that you respect them and that you know their things belong to them. It gives them a chance to say yes or no — and both are valid answers. It makes the relationship between you and the other person feel safe and fair. When people know their belongings will not be touched without permission, they feel safe. That safety is a gift you give to the people around you every time you ask first.
Asking before you use something that belongs to someone else shows that you respect their ownership. This rule applies to physical things, creative works, and even private information.
This rule goes beyond physical things. Remember, people's creations belong to them too. If you want to use a photo your friend took, ask first. If you want to quote something from a story your cousin wrote, ask first. If you want to share a song your classmate composed, ask first. And the same goes for private information. If your friend told you something personal, that is not your story to tell. Before sharing private information that belongs to someone else, always ask whether it is okay. The pattern is simple: if it belongs to someone else, ask before you do anything with it.
Flashcards — click each card to reveal the answer
Here is a story about a boy named Leo. Leo found a really cool video of his friend Nina doing a gymnastics trick. He thought it was amazing and wanted to show it to the whole class. So he grabbed his tablet and started the video at show-and-tell without asking Nina. Nina was embarrassed. She did not mind Leo watching the video privately, but she had not decided she wanted everyone to see it. Leo used something of Nina's — her performance, her image — without her permission. Leo felt bad when he understood what happened. He apologized and learned an important lesson: even a video, a photo, or a performance belongs to the person in it. Always ask.
Match each action to what you should do before doing it.
Terms
Definitions
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Asking does not have to be awkward. A simple Can I borrow this? or Is it okay if I share your drawing? works perfectly. And if someone says no, smile and say that is totally fine. Respecting a no is just as important as asking in the first place.
Leo showed Nina's gymnastics video to the class without asking. What should he have done?
Your friend says no when you ask to borrow their favorite book. What should you do?
Permission Practice
- Practice asking for permission in real life today!
- Step 1: Think of something you would like to borrow or use that belongs to someone else — a book, a toy, an art supply, or anything.
- Step 2: Go to that person and ask politely. Try saying: Could I please borrow your [item]? I will take care of it and return it.
- Step 3: Whatever they answer — yes or no — accept it with a smile and say thank you for answering.
- Step 4: If they said yes, use the item carefully and return it when you said you would. If they said no, find another solution without being upset.
- Write down how it felt to ask and how the other person responded. Did asking make the moment feel more respectful? Why do you think that is?